Sin prisas:
Super Slow Motion Punch Fest
DJ KIDS!
Spam "Muévete" (videoclip)
Cuidado con el escalón
Grabado en la decada de los 50 Universidad de Vanderbilt llamado David Rogers. En el se puede ver con claridad meridiana la frenética cacería que protagoniza un Neutrófilo (un tipo de glóbulo blanco presente en nuestra sangre y que se ancarga de la destrucción de bacterias invasoras) persiguiendo a un Staphylococcus aureus entre un mar de globulos rojos hasta que consigue dar buena cuenta de su presa. (C&P)
Si es que las princesas...
Están vivos!!! (John Carpenter)
1, 2, 3 escondite inglés
Libro de estilo para las pelis de superhéroes por Nacho Vigalondo
1) No se mostrará el origen del superhéroe protagonista. De hecho, el primer fotograma debe de mostrarle ya uniformado, asestando un bofetón. A partir de ahí, la película tiene la opción de contar el origen del personaje, pero sólo a través de rótulos, tras los créditos finales.
3) El héroe ha de tener un compañero que le acompañe en las trifulcas. Tiene que ser más bajo, más gracioso, y vestir colores chillones. En al menos una secuencia ha de sufrir un guitarrazo en la cabeza.
4)El número de guitarrazos en el total del metraje no puede ser menor de cinco.
32) El superhéroe ha de estar disfrazado el 80% del metraje y peleándose el 75%.
33) El superhéroe sólo se desplazará a bordo de un vehículo estrafalario y peligroso, aunque sea en distancias cortas.
34) El superhéroe dispone de una tecnología adelantada a su tiempo como apoyo a sus misiones. Su uso debe ser desproporcionado, irreflexivo y homicida en un 30% de las ocasiones.
34)Más de la mitad de las peleas totales incluidas en el metraje estarán provocadas por el superhéroe.
67)El villano ha de tener naturaleza extraterrestre, sobrenatural, robótica o nazi. Estas cuatro posibilidades pueden combinarse entre sí.
68) La pulsión criminal del villano será inexplicable.
104)Si el héroe sufre un trauma emocional, el número de minutos invertido en la película a desarrollar y solucionar dicho problema ha de ser similar o menor que el número de minutos entregados a una pelea en la que haya una presencia decisiva de objetos gigantes (pasteles, jeringas, monedas, muñecos, trompetas).
120)La frases “Somos las dos caras de la misma moneda”, “Este es tu juego, pero son mis reglas”, “Tú no sabes lo que hay bajo tu máscara”, “Yo existo porque tú existes”, "No me matarás porque me necesitas para saber quién eres" o similares han de ser seguidas de un tartazo.
123)El superhéroe no se puede arrepentir de nada.
124)El superhéroe puede avergonzarse de ser alcohólico, pero sólo por las mañanas.
312)La acción se contextualiza en una ciudad moderna, pero sus habitantes no tendrán voz ni voto en la acción principal. La destrucción del mobiliario urbano se asumirá con resignación.
315)La retórica está limitada a lo verbalizado por los personajes, y siempre en las secuencias de batalla. Por ejemplo, las metáforas visuales no están permitidas, pero el superhéroe puede exclamar, en el momento adecuado “Se está rifando una hostia y tú tienes todas las papeletas”.
317)El superhéroe ha de tener una vida sexual activa y constante. El número de amantes ha de ser mayor de uno, y la multiplicación de esa cifra por tres ha de ser ser el número mínimo de tonteos.
318) Está prohibido el comentario social, el subtexto y las referencias veladas al 11-S o a los excesos de la política internacional.
400)La batalla final ha de conllevar más destrucción que la que haya prometido el villano en sus amenazas.
401)Es absolutamente imposible que el superhéroe perdone al villano en el último momento. Como mucho, puede asistir a su funeral aguantándose la risa.
413)La última frase de la película ha de ser un chiste.
domingo, 12 de octubre de 2008
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